Tani
by smee
Summary: PG for more-language than in the show. About the new girl, me. True to the show. First with self as character, I think. I uploaded chapter 2, and the edited version of chapter 1: the ending is a little different. Check it out and enjoy! Whoops, that
1. Welcome to Rocky Hill...

Tani walked confidently into the school building, glancing down at her schedule

Tani walked confidently into the school building, glancing down at her schedule.The noise and hustle of a normal school morning assured her that things couldn't be too different."Locker 445," she muttered, looking at the numbers on them.Finding it to be on top, she entered her combination, two-twelve-two.Lifting up, she looked inside of it for the first time, thinking how very small these were compared to the ones at her old middle school, which were twice as tall.Swinging her backpack off her shoulder, she removed her black Mead 5-star binder, and shoved the blue bag inside, not bothering to zip it up.Before she closed the locker, she felt the pocket of her pants, making sure that her customary black Pentel RSVP pen was in its place.She then slammed it shut.Room 207, English, grade 7.She sighed, looking at the nearest door.Room 101.The lady at the desk hadn't been kind enough to give her a map.Looking around, she saw no one who remotely resembled someone approachable.They were all wearing terribly uncoordinated outfits.One girl was tall and blonde, and had buckteeth.She looked at Tani with a superior sneer, her eyebrows knitting together and her upper lip revealing her slightly yellow teeth in disgust.

"Who," she said slowly, "are you?"

"A lost little girl looking for English 207, instructor, Mrs. Magner," Tani replied easily.

"Good luck," she snapped imperiously, turning back to her friends, tossing her head and laughing a high, falsetto laugh.

"Let me guess, you're a cheerleader," spat Tani angrily.She hated people who looked at her with their lip up. 

"That's right.Lost little girl, why don't you turn around and go home?"

"Lost little girls normally don't know right from left, but I can tell you can't see the line between ignorance and stupidity," she replied, a spark of challenge in her eyes.She didn't notice the boy behind her gaping in admiration.

"Oh look, it's two of a kind!Dorkface, look, I've found you another girlfriend!Maybe this one isn't as dweebish as the other two-honestly, at least she didn't call me a snot-faced snot-head."

"Snot-faced snot-head?"Tani laughed."I should say not.By the way, are you SURE you're not a squirrel?I mean, you're missing the tail, but you've got the teeth and the brains to be one."

Gordo gasped from behind her.He knew enough insults to know what that one meant, even if Kate didn't._(AN:A squirrel is a prostitute…ask anyone in my science class.)_

"Squirrel?" The blonde giggled."Well, at least I don't need braces," she said, pointing to Tani's silver ones.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that.Your teeth look a little yellow to me.When was the last time you went to a dentist?" she inquired innocently.

The blonde scowled."It's only the first day.I will make the rest of this school year miserable for you."

"Oh, that's a threat, is it?"

"Could be!I'll see you around."

"Around?" She laughed sardonically, mimicking the girl's speech."You must talk funny up here.Anyway, I'll be around, and rest assured, it's not easy to create my idea of a living hell, at least, not in school.Now, could someone please tell me where room 207 is?"

"As if!" said one of the girl's groupies mockingly."Ask dorkface over there."

Tani turned on the heel of her gray Nikes and found herself face to face with a boy of exactly her height, with shocking green eyes."Hope you're a smart dorkface," she said with a slight smile.

"Oh, I wouldn't know about that.Wide information sources, valuable insights into human nature, certainly."

She grinned."I've yet to find anyone else who's uttered that intelligent a sentence."

"So-you're looking for 207?I'm going there right now."

"That's great!"

"Hmm…well, sure, if you like tough teachers…I've heard so much about Miss Magner…"

"I love English!I was going to be the editor of my school newspaper, but then Dad found the job here…" she trailed off.

"You don't like it here?"

"Well, it's not that.It's very scenic, but it takes me a lot of time to make friends, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I really do.Lizzie and Miranda-"He paused upon seeing her uncomprehending look."My best friends.We've known each other since kindergarten, and they weren't really friends with me before 5th grade.I've always been a bit of an outcast."

"Same.It's probably because either I talk too much, or because I'm always writing when they DO want to talk."

"I really like science, so I take a lot of notes.I guess you could say I'm weird."

"Hey, sometimes nonconformity isn't all bad.Once I start to 'blend' in, I'll pull wacky stunts just for the hell of it, you know?"(She made quotes signs to illustrate her point when she reached the word "blend".

"Yeah!Look, here we are."He opened the door and held it for her.

"Thanks," she said, going in.

Two girls were sitting in the back, in a row of three desks, with one desk in between them.One was wearing yellow platform sandals, blue capris, and a pink t-shirt with orange flowers on it.She had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was quite pretty, although her hair didn't flatter her slightly round face in those tiny braids, and her outfit didn't go together at all.The girl next to her had short black hair tied back in a single ponytail with streaks of bright blue interwoven with it.She was wearing orange capris, bright green sneakers, and a purple shirt.Tani raised her eyebrows.They certainly provided a stark contrast to her black jeans (slight flare), semi-tight black tank top, dull silver flower shaped earrings, and the silver chain around her neck with 'SEXY' in diamond-studded letters dangling from it.Her shoulder length brown hair (actually, it had gold highlights from the summer in Brazil, and it looked shorter than it was because it was wavy) was in a high, loose, ponytail, with most of her hair hanging loose down the back of her neck.Two strands framed her face, which had scattered pimples, not noticeable unless you were very near her.

"Hi, Gordo!" called the blonde one.She was slightly paler than the black-haired one.

"Hey, Lizzie, Miranda," he said."By the way, you never did tell me your name," he said, turning to her.

"Oh, my name's Anita, but everyone calls me Tani. Well, my little brother calls me Neeter, but everyone ELSE calls me Tani."

"My name's David Gordon, but everyone calls me Gordo except for my parents.They call me David."

"You're not fat," observed Tani astutely, looking at his slender frame.

"What?" said Gordo, caught by surprise.

"Spanish, Portuguese.Actually, it's a common American mispronunciation…"

"You speak another language?"

"I'm fluent in Portuguese, although my reading's not so hot and I can't write, and I can understand Spanish, but my sentences are choppy and I sometimes misphrase them them.Reading wise, I can get the gist of a sentence and translate it roughly…"

"Wow," breathed Gordo.

"I really wanted to take Latin, but they only offered it in high school where I used to live, and I didn't want to leave the program they had at my area school for accelerated students to go to the middle school they offered it in 8th grade at.Hopefully I'll get to take Italian this summer, and I took some French in the 3rd and 4th grades.I can pretty much understand all romance languages because they're all similar, and it really expands your vocabulary and makes you think about word origins when you're speaking…Oops, you're not really interested, are you…"

"Quite the contrary, I find it fascinating," said Gordo, gazing at her in increasing interest.

"Gordo," interrupted Miranda, standing up and taking his elbow, "we haven't seen you since June!" Gordo had spent the entire summer at the University of Virginia in a computer, math, and science enrichment camp."Come sit with us!" she urged, while Lizzie stared at Tani.Gordo looked helplessly at Tani.

"There are only three seats," he said to Miranda.

"Well, obviously!" said Lizzie irritably."Have you forgotten that there are three of us?Honestly, Gordo, with all those math camps, I'd have thought you could at least count to five."

"One, two, three, four, five.Could we please move where there are four seats in a row?" he requested politely.

"We ALWAYS sit in the back!Why should we change?"

"Because Tani is cool?"

"Oh, hi," said Miranda disdainfully, with an expression reminiscent of Kate's, minus the buckteeth and plucked eyebrows."She dresses like Parker," she whispered to Lizzie.

"Nah, Parker wears dorky shoes. Nikes are cool," Lizzie whispered back.

"But she's wearing dark colors."

"True."

Tani frowned.She didn't like people who whispered.It was a very rude habit.She knew they were talking about her, but she didn't mind.Gordo seemed nice.

"You know you can say whatever it is out loud," she suggested."People used to call me a he-she, before I grew my hair out.I don't really care what you think about me.Not to be rude, but I don't need friends who are too cowardly to share their negative opinions."

"A he-she is a what?" asked Lizzie.

"He-she: Homosexual."

"Huh?" said Miranda.

"Homo: Latin: same.Sexual:Self-explanatory.Someone with an attraction for someone of the same sex."

"EEW, lesbo, get away!" shrieked Miranda.

Tani rolled her eyes and walked towards a row of four desks, 2 of which were filled by the blonde bitch and one of her little friends. They were comparing their fingernails.Tani sat next to one.

"Hello, I don't think I've introduced myself."

"I don't WANT to know you," she said, turning away.

"Nice nails," said Tani."A little long, I personally keep mine short for piano.Baby pink is nice," she said, motioning to Kate's nails, which resembled talons, "but I think hot pink more suits you.You have a very ostentatious personality, has anyone ever told you that?Where do you get them done?I still haven't found a decent cosmetologist."

The other one looked at her strangely.Hers were a dark navy color.

"That's more my style!I personally think dark colors leave more to the imagination and provide for more efficient heat/body radiation."

"You're weird, you know that?" she asked.

"No, not weird.I just have different interests than the typical person."

Gordo chose that moment to sit next to her."Tani, the blonde one is Kate.She's the vainest girl in school."

"I'd noticed," said Tani dryly.

"The other one is Melanie, her minion."

"Ah, so Kate is one of those stereotyped dumb blonde cheerleaders that everyone hangs around with for no apparent reason other than to 'be cool' because everyone either likes her or pretends to?" 

"Something like that," said Gordo with a smile.

"I have many conceptions of popularity."

"As do I."

'The whole 'you're popular with your friends' conception is off the wall.I mean, if they didn't like you, they wouldn't be your friends, would they?"

"Exactly."

A short, wrinkled lady who resembled a prune walked into the classroom."Quiet, class," she said.

"So you're sitting here instead of with your friends?" inquired Tani.

"Yeah.They're being unusually possessive today."

"Quiet in the third row!" the woman (presumably Mrs. Magner) barked.She was wearing a long brown dress that appeared to be made of wool.It did nothing whatsoever to flatter her already unattractive figure.She plopped her immense bulk down in a chair behind the teacher's desk and picked up a thin blue book.She opened it and picked up a pen.

"Adirondack, Michael."

"Present."

"Bumback, Katayoka."

"Here!" said Kate, waving her French-manicured hand.

"Coles, Miranda."

"Hey."

"Coles, Miranda?"

"Over here!"

"Please respond as 'here' or 'present."

"Here!" said Miranda in exasperation.

Mrs. Magner scribbled a note in her book.

She read a few more names before arriving at "Kesler, Danny."

"Here," said a boy lazily.He could have been cute, but the self-satisfied smirk on his face irritated Tani.

"Kinney, Anita."

"Here."

"Gordon, David."

"Here."

She continued down the list in her rasping voice for what seemed an eternity."You will be seated in alphabetical order," she droned.She pointed to desks.Much to Tani's dismay, she was on the end of a row, and Gordo was across the room from her, at the beginning of another.The self-absorbed boy was next to her.He looked fairly stupid.Magner was now writing on the board."Write an autobiography, to be presented at the end of class."


	2. "Um, Tani?"

Danny Kesler was eying her

_Note:I hope to recognize my reviewers in my AN's-something I have been unable to do in the Harry Potter fandom because no one is consistent as far as reviewing goes!Argh!Let's hope you lot are better at that._

_Child of the Stage:Hehe, my first reviewer-I love you! ;pI liked Nevermore even before I posted…I'm trying to keep my story different from yours, and I hope I've succeeded.I'll have to check for updates on it later._

_Ozgirlambrosia:The first and not the last to point out my error.Thank you!Glad you liked it…sorry, I don't like either of them very much-just the cuteness of the show (minus annoying cartoon Lizzie, who I can't stand), the structure of it-sure, Lizzie and Miranda's worries are a little unrealistic, and no one has time for conference calling unless you're a total loser, and I've yet to meet a Kate-but hey, it's still fun: Matt and Lanny just crack me up, her parents are so stupid it's funny, and Gordo is HOT, HOT HOT!!!!!… if just a tad short._

_Melissa:Thanks for telling me about Kate, I've fixed thattoo.Oh, and about them being mean?Hehe, they're not mean, just narrow-minded, lol.Get used to it.(Sorry if I sound harsh, that's just the way my story's going to be, and I can seriously picture them doing that.)_

_karen: You're closest so far, lol.For some reason your review made me laugh…hard._

_toby: Thanks…I think.Clever of you, not passing judgment and labeling it as 'so far'.I approve!_

_Anonymous: True.I don't know what I'd smoked when I wrote that…lol, jk._

_Medea Ziegler:I probably told you on IM that that's absolutely funny-oh, and two weeks before school ended I switched to a locker on the very right end of a row, so that I could throw it open without obstructing anyone's way to their locker…hehe, and so Julia could be by her boyfriend-who knows, I might do that in the story, too!I'm probably going to keep this as true to what happens to me as possible-*grin*_

_Elze Tiki: They ARE hypocrites._

_Medea (again):Yeah, thanks._

_Athena McGuire:Constructive criticism!Oh yeah.You rock, too._

_Gordolover:Yes, I do.Thanks for the encouragement._

_doreen:Ooh, lavish praise-I like it!_

_Colleen*: Perfect timing to get into my AN-I was just about to post, hehe, but I had to write these stupid notes as a way to egg on my reviewers-hehe, review and you get one of these little shoutouts!Maybe the corny incentive'll actually work, who knows?_

_Yes, I do realize this is longer than the actual story.Sorry._

_ _

_ _

_Bird course, bird course!_Everything seemed to scream this inviting phrase._Oh why, oh why, can't it be math?_She sighed.It never was.English was always easy.Danny Kesler was eying her. She caught his glance, and he smiled broadly, wiggling his eyebrows in what he assumed was a macho fashion, nodding."Heya, babe.Busy Friday night?"

Tani smiled sweetly, then frowned, looking thoughtful.After what seemed forever to Danny, she put a finger on her chin. "I'd love to do something with you, but I think you're too busy fucking yourself," she said finally.

Lizzie was sitting in the row behind her, and was looking scandalized.Danny Kesler, THE Danny Kesler, Miranda's crush, was hitting on the new girl, and she blew him off?She obviously didn't know anything about the inner social workings of their school.She'd have to either teach her better, or let her make a fool of herself.The latter seemed more promising in getting Gordo off this new-found "interest."

Danny furrowed his eyebrows, trying to work out what she'd just said.

Tani, meanwhile, snapped open the rings of her binder and took out a sheet of loose-leaf, taking her pen out of her pocket.

_LATER (in science, 2nd class of the day)_

_ _

_Ask her Gordon, ask her!_He hadn't ever met a girl like her before.He was usually more together, and acted on what his inner voice said.It was usually right.And now it was very hard to ignore.Her collected but easygoing manner struck a chord with him, and he didn't know what to make of it.But perhaps he was being too hasty…nah.He had made friends with Lizzie right away, her being a sociable and likeable person, although most of the people at school didn't view her like that, rather, as an annoying tagalong.Miranda had taken a bit more time, as she was more reserved than Lizzie, although admittedly a better dresser and less superficial, much to her credit.Lately, however, she had been becoming more and more like Lizzie-a popularity junkie, and her clothing style had change, noticeably louder and more clashing since they had become so close.He was starting to feel pushed out of their friendship, as the odd one out in groups often does, and thought perhaps it was time to expand his currently limited circle of friends.He had begun to look at Lizzie as something more than a friend…as a girl (she _was, _after all, gorgeous), however, her jealousy of people she couldn't was starting to get to him, and he was starting to view her as a bit of a hypocrite, and not a particularly bright one at that.She was a good friend, and sensitive about other people's feelings, normally, but the rat pack dance had exposed her underlying desire to fit in, no matter what her other actions and carefully maintained exterior might imply.He knew she would leave him and Miranda in a second if it meant popularity with Ethan and Kate.And if he let on that he sort of liked her, then Miranda would be jealous.On the other hand, Miranda's personality when Lizzie wasn't around suited him much more than hers, and but then Lizzie would be jealous, and he risked losing them both if he listened to his instinct and showed his interest in Tani._Then again, if they really value my friendship, they can accommodate me, like I've been tolerating their girly rants for the past two years._Tani was saying something about chaos theory, which wasn't going through to his brain, which was occupied with the aforementioned thoughts.He finally interrupted her."Um, Tani?"

"Oh, sorry, that was a little long, wasn't it-"

"It's not that…it's just that-are-oh, Jesus, this is harder than I thought-are you-uh-you-uh-oh…" he stuttered, trying to find the right words.

"Are you trying to ask me out?"

"Yes!"

"Wow!That's so sweet!Only one person's ever asked me, and it was on a roller coaster in Hersheypark, on a band trip, and he was just kidding!Oh, and then there was the Polish dude who was two years older but I couldn't bring myself to tell him I couldn't like him because of his…past, but he asked me to be his boyfriend, and he had that stupid little Terrence around him all the time, and he was ugly, too…but that's not important.That's cool!"She said this very fast.

"So that's a yes?"

"No."

"Oh." His face fell.

"Consider it a 'hell, yeah' kind of thing."

"How's Friday night?I was hoping to see _Pearl Harbor_…"

"I've seen it.Did you like _Titanic_?"

"I liked the cinematography, but the romance was a bit exaggerated.Very historically accurate, though."

"Yeah.I liked that, too.Well, take the romance, dilute it a lot, add approximately three gallons of sap, a thoroughly unconvincing acting attempt by Ben Affleck, two-thirds historical exaggeration, scenes on boats mimicking _Titanic, _and two hours of snogging in a subplot that does nothing to move along the action of the movie.The fifteen minutes of the actual bombing is wonderfully done, but that's the only redeeming quality, and it doesn't do much for the overall movie."

"That bad?I just assumed it was overly critiqued by the reviewers."

"Picture it this way-Richard Scarry trying to do something for four year olds with the emotional depth of Shakespeare."

"Ah.Well, how about _Shrek_ or _A Knight's Tale_?"

"I'd really like to see the latter, but _Shrek _my brother wants to see.This Friday, did you say?"

"Yeah."

"I told my parents I would take him then."

"Would they object if a friend who just happens to be a boy came along?"

"Probably.Now, if a friend who just happens to be a boy incidentally shows up for the same showing at the theater, that would take a lot less explaining.I could probably bribe Francis to shut up with a bag of popcorn."

"It's a date, then?"

"It's a date."

"Aah!" whispered Lizzie to Miranda."He just-asked her out!Oh my god!And she blew off Danny Kesler!I mean, he's so hot, like, who's gonna pick Gordo over him?!"

"Not me," said Miranda fervently.

"Or me!" screamed Lizzie as best she could without attracting attention.She tapped Gordo on the shoulder.

"Gordo, I thought Friday was always our 'the five days' conference!"

"Lizzie, you must have it confused with the Hundred Days," said Gordo dismissively."We can chat after the movie."

"Fine!" she said haughtily."Maybe it's just a phase," she said to Miranda.

But Gordo heard it."Or MAYBE I've met someone with intellect equivalent to mine and I don't want you two ruining it!"

"Jeez!Be that way!" Miranda said, surprised at his outburst.

"Glad I have your approval."He turned away.

"Tani and David, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" taunted Miranda.

"Miranda, how much do you hang around Matt?"

"Matt?Since when do we hang around with HIM?" asked Lizzie incredulously.

"It just seems rather odd that a thirteen year old girl would spontaneously decide to sing nursery rhymes spontaneously."

"You need to add a few words to your vocabulary," Tani whispered confidentially."I believe the middle school variation is 'Tani and Gordo, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G.'That would be much more effective in attempting to hurt someone's feelings, and in driving that wedge between you and him in further."

"Huh?I thought you put wedges in between the door and the floor?" asked Lizzie.

"Ooh, very good, you've mastered the concept of rhyming.Now, onto another aspect of descriptive language-figurative language!" she said, pretending to be proud of Lizzie's accomplishment, with the eager smile of a kindergarten teacher."Figuratively, McGuire, figuratively," she finished sarcastically, the smile still in place.

"I don't get it."

"If you don't get it, you don't get it.Oops.I forget.You don't have the Post here."

"Yes we do, the _Rocky Hill Post_."_(Er, let's assume the town they live in is Rocky Hill, because that's the name of the middle school, as you can learn from watching the rerun of the rhythmic gymnastics episode!)_

"It's the slogan for the _Washington Post._It's a DC thing.That was one of our jokes at school…we had lots of them…'who shot who in the what now?' and so on."

"You had a weird school."

"No, just a bored class and a very cool technology teacher.Our school itself was masquerading in a nice suburban neighborhood to hide the fact that it's funding makes it the equivalent of the ghetto, and about fifty years older."

"You lived in the ghetto?"

"I lived in a lakeside community.It was awesome.But we did have an apartment complex right near it, across the street from the library and extending to the 7-11.The kids from there went to my school, so the educational program wasn't quite up to par with my class.We were GTC…you had to test into it.Lots of funny people.They could misconstrue anything you were trying to say.If you say 'I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond yesterday' you'll hear lots of people laughing, and then have someone say 'I love the name' or 'You did WHAT after the shower?'It was a pretty diverse community, and all in all, very fun."

"Cool!" exclaimed Lizzie."I wish our school was like that!"

"Judging from it, you're all worse-a bunch of sheltered suburban white kids and pretty boys.And preppy, too."

"I am not!" she said indignantly.

"I didn't say you were.I was referring to the overall impression conveyed by your look-alike student body." 

Miranda and Lizzie looked at each other and shrugged.

"And on an issue completely off the subject and related to current events-have you heard about the new automatic Polish parachutes?"

"Engineering?" said Gordo with interest, having been ignoring them as to give them some privacy; his interest peaked by the last comment.

"Oh, yes!It's big news.They open on impact."Lizzie and Miranda shot questioning glances each other at the same moment that Gordo doubled over with laughter _(no, it's not that funny, but I heard it today, so I had to use it!) _and they tried to understand what she'd said.She saw their looks, and cracked up as well, practically falling on Gordo, who helped her back into her seat, one hand conveniently remaining on her waist.

Yes, I realize it has been ages!Hopefully I'll get as many reviews on this one as I did for the last-please, people, you make my life happy!Hehe.I mean, honestly, give me something to look forward to after math (ugh, summer camp at university)?Disclaimer: Lizzie, Gordo, Miranda, Kate, Danny Kesler, and whomever else you recognize belong to the Walt Disney Corporation and their associates.I own myself, so that would be Tani.This story is written purely for entertainment purposes, and I hope you like it as much as I did writing it.I still have 2 stories to work on, and I want to get my poetry typed up before the summer ends.Any suggestions of what you want to happen?Should I make Lizzie and Miranda lesbian?Is this moving too fast?Anything can happen, especially with your input!So, please fill out the friendly review box, and, if you're so inclined, email me at [Coquilla13@aol.com][1] with suggestions, comments, or just to talk!Oh, and hopefully the next part will be longer, if I get a good response.7 reviews should do nicely.Oh, and do you think I should up the censor to PG13, that is, if I end up having Miranda date Lizzie?(highly improbable, but expect the unexpected!Um, but then that would make it expected, so expect the normal stuff, because under the saying, it would be the unexpected…look at the time, almost 4…time to watch the Sunday Funnies Marathon, lol!Who's the girl who's sticking gum in Lizzie's hair in the preview?Hehe, guess I'll find out!)

~_^ Coqui the Mighty Frog

THE POLL!DO YOU THINK TANI IS A MARY SUE?!?Please respond in the form of a review or email, I need to know whether I need to focus a bit more on my flaws, or should I be perfect?Like I am in real life **cough**?Which would you prefer?

   [1]: mailto:Coquilla13@aol.com



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